Parents, families and community,
Please read below for additional information for helping students deal with grief.
Crisis Services-1-800-332-4224
Hospice Grief Support Services-319-351-5665/1-800-897-3052
Christian Counseling Center-319-337-9461
Community Pastoral Counseling-319-337-2519
Contact your clergy, family doctor or the school for additional questions/help.
https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/grief-and-loss-resources
http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3367
WAYS TEENS CAN MANAGE STRESS & GRIEF REACTIONS
Let others help you. Talk about your thoughts and feelings as often as you feel the need. Contact friends, family, teachers, counselors or other adults who are willing to listen to you. Repeatedly talking about the event and your reactions is part of the healing process.
Some teens find that journaling or drawing is helpful. Consider writing a note or letter to family of the person who died.
As much as possible, spend time with people who have a positive influence on you. Avoid involving yourself in activities that could add to your problems.
Recognize that stress and grief often trigger a wide range of feelings. Even though your feelings and reactions may seem very different from those of your peers, feelings are all common reactions to an uncommon event.
There is a temptation when the stress level is high to try to numb the feelings with alcohol and drugs. Substance abuse complicates the problems, rather than relieving them.
Make a special effort to take care of yourself during this stressful time. Attempt to get some extra sleep, eat nutritious foods and get some exercise -- even if it is just walking the dog.
Getting into a “normal” school/family/work routine may be reassuring and helpful.
Provide some balance to the negative things that have gone on by doing something special or fun for yourself. Think about something that makes you feel good and make it happen – like go to a movie, shoot some hoops, listen to music, call an old friend, work on a hobby, etc.
Laughter is good medicine. Watch a funny movie or play a silly game with younger children to lighten your spirits.
Do something special or fun with your family. They may be concerned about you and want to spend more time with you.
Don’t make unreasonable demands on yourself. Allow yourself time to feel better. Give yourself permission to slow down. Give yourself permission to be distracted and make mistakes.
Above all, realize that what your are experiencing is normal
for a traumatic situation. Be understanding of yourself and others.
Expressions of Grief and Stress
Students may exhibit the following behaviors:
- Stare blankly and find speaking difficult
- Tear-up or cry profusely.
- Unusually quiet, low energy or lethargic
- Are irritable, loud, bossy or angry.
- Words or actions may easily hurt feelings.
- Forget normal routines and expectations.
- Have difficulty focusing and concentrating.
- Act silly or find ordinary things very amusing.
- Become overly active, anxious and nervous.
- Be overly attentive or vigilant of others and may become over protective of a peer or teacher.
- Appear unaffected as if having a normal routine day.
- Want to withdraw and wish to be alone.
- Have a need for physical closeness or demonstrate “clingy” behavior.
- Unable to sleep, over sleep or only able to sleep intermittently.
- Exhibit a flight response by quickly leaving an area without notice, a plan of action or regards to safety.
- Describe feeling sick to stomach, head hurting, mild to severe pains, sweating, and strong thirst.
- Change routine eating habits…loss of appetite or over eating.
- A need to talk about the situation/death frequently may have many questions and repeat the same questions often.
- Show regression behaviorally or emotionally (bedwetting, thumb-sucking, etc.).
- Feel guilty or blame self…”If only I…”
If you see or notice any of those behaviors, you can reach out to the numbers listed